There are few people who enjoy waiting, who when they see a long queue are not bothered or put off by it. Personally speaking, when I see a long queue, I walk away, I cannot stand waiting, and I perceive it as a waste of my time, as for that period of time I believe that I am being unproductive. I know that I could take a book and read, or listen to a sermon or conference message on my I-pod or smartphone, but truthfully the moment I see that queue I am not, to my shame, thinking and feeling in a Christian manner. This sadly reveals the idol of my own heart and that is me, the belief that this world exists for me, and those who get in my way are an inconvenience, all must clear the way for me, so that I can be served. My hypocrisy is revealed when I think of myself as a patient person, my heart and conscience is further pricked when I hear others refer to me as a patient person. I do believe, however, that I am not alone in this struggle as many of us struggle with patience, and yet it is meant to be one of the fruits of the spirit, that which we as ministers of the Gospel are called to display and be examples of.
My purpose in this post is not to talk about this patience specifically, but rather another patience, one in which we demonstrate impatience, and it is one which I have become acutely aware of over the past few months. I am referring here to the call of Scripture to “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him” Psalm 37:7. The call to wait patiently for Him and also the patience that we are called to display when we entrust our unknown future to God, waiting for and trusting in Him to work all things out according to His good purpose, in His time, in accordance with His sovereign will.
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD! Psalm 27:13-14
Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!
Psalm 31:24
Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you. Psalm 33:20-22
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:4-5
But for you, O LORD, do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer. Psalm 38:15
Permit me to give some context to my current situation that has led the Lord through His Spirit to convict me of this impatience. My wife and I recently took a large step of faith and have moved to a completely different continent. The challenges that have come with this move have been numerous; the greatest of these has been a two-fold challenge. The first part has been looking for a new ministry opportunity, and the second part has been the difficulty of being away from family, due to visa requirements and the such. I was separated from my wife, son and new born daughter for two months, which was a heart-wrenching experience.
My wife and I had been praying on a daily basis for the past eight months about this move, checking our motivation, discerning the directing of the Lord, and expressing our trust in Him to open doors and provide. Now that very faith, trust and dependence is being put to the test. Shortly after I left my family and embarked on this new venture I began to read through the Psalms, and well it didn’t take me long to hit the portion of Psalms whereby the Psalmists are crying out to God for deliverance and for Him to answer their prayers. My arrival at these Psalms, coincided as it were, it is more accurately the sovereignty of God, with me hitting an emotional, spiritual and mental low. Being away from family was taking its toll, the job hunt wheels were turning slowly and most matters were out of my hands. The waiting game had well and truly begun, and I was starting to feel increasingly desperate, with the gloom closing in. As I read these Psalms I found myself saying to the Lord, “But I am waiting! When are you going to answer, when are you going to work? How much longer must I wait?” I was trying to convince myself that I was being patient, that I was being still and waiting on the Lord!
We all know how frustrating, in fact how infuriating it is when a person tells us that they are waiting patiently for us. But they stand in the doorway, hands on hips, foot tapping, constantly glancing at their watch and every minute letting out a frustrated sigh! The question is, how often do we conduct ourselves in a similar manner when waiting upon the Lord? We can be incredibly impatient in our patience.
Not only can we be impatient in our patience, we can also become cynical believing that God is keeping us waiting, deliberately ignoring our cries and pleas for help for Him to answer and work on our behalf. We could possibly find ourselves soon being filled with doubt, doubting God’s goodness, questioning His wisdom and sovereignty, presuming that we know better. This impatience, cynicism, doubt and questioning, can then lead us to anger and bitterness against God.
If we consider the path that this impatience in the midst of patience can take us on, we need to guard against it, but the question is how?
As I have walked through this time of having to wait, and in all honesty have on certain days walked down the wrong path of complaint and doubt, I have learnt three important lessons and ways in which to keep perspective and keep my feet from walking down the wrong path.
1.) Working hard at cultivating and maintaining thankfulness.
“Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me!” Psa 66:16-20
I read this Psalm on a particularly difficult day, and the moment I read it, I was immediately confronted by it and found myself in tears of repentance, for my ungratefulness. This Psalm is one of praise addressed to God for having answered the prayer of the Psalmist at a time of great difficulty. Whilst I have not done an in depth study of this Psalm and its historical context, it appears that in the day of the Psalmist’s cry for deliverance, he sought to praise God and maintain thankfulness. Immediately I knew that I had become so focused on what I did not have, that I had forgotten what I did have. I was so anxious for God to answer my plea that I had failed to remember and rejoice in the many prayers that God had answered. I was so desperate for God to work in particular areas that I failed to note where God was at work, without me even praying for Him to work in those areas.
Tragically in times of difficulty we can look at life with blinders on, where we are focused on one thing, to the point that we fail to see all that which is happening around us. In doing so we fail to see how God is at work all around us, and therefore we fail to demonstrate thankfulness towards God. Not only are we failing to demonstrate thankfulness, we also fail to be encouraged by this working of God.
Although God, in His sovereignty, has not yet answered our request, it does not mean that He is not at work in countless other areas and ways in our lives. Cultivating thankfulness helps us to not only thank God for past faithfulness, but also to see where He is at work and to then be encouraged by this and filled with further thankfulness.
2.) Structured Times of Prayer and Meditation.
During the times when we are waiting on the Lord for guidance, for answer to our prayers, our prayers can often become not only self-centred, but also like a one track record, or to be more modern a one track CD! We become focused on the pressing need, or the difficulty of our situation, that we loose sight of everything else.
Whilst there is nothing intrinsically wrong with daily bringing the same request before God, we need to be cautious and ensure that this request is not the sum total of our prayers. I believe that the need to be cautious is purely for personal benefit and will aid us in keep the right perspective. When we become consumed by the pressing need, or difficulty, we often allow it to grow out of proportion, as the more we think about it, and the longer we go without a glimpse of relief, the greater the problem grows in our minds. Sometimes it grows to an unrealistic level, what started out as a minor inconvenience, or problem becomes one of epidemic proportion, and it consumes our minds day and night.
In all honestly I did not think that I had allowed the situation and difficulties to consume my mind, until I read through my journal and then I noticed day after day, after day it was the same plea and cry, the words were just different. I went and revisited some of the Psalms that I had made reference to in my journal, and I was struck by what I had missed. Although there are definite and clear cries for help, there is also much in the Psalm that teaches me about the character, nature, attributes and workings of God. I realised my own folly, for I had missed out on so much comfort and encouragement that these Psalms offered, even though they contained desperate cries and pleas for help. If only I had taken the time to read carefully through those Psalms, allowing them to speak to me, instead of filtering them through my own circumstances and emotional condition, it would have served to adjust my perspective, and then encouraged and edified my soul.
In order to prevent ourselves from becoming like a band with one song, in the midst of desperate and difficult circumstances, we need to develop a structured time of prayer and work hard at correct meditation and contemplation of the Scripture that we are reading. Writing down a list to guide us as we pray, to write down that which we are grateful for, ways in which we have seen God's grace and faithfulness at work, new, or even old truths that we have been taught or reminded of as we have read through Scripture. We should also write down our requests, but being careful and disciplined that we don't go on and on as we plead with God. As we complete that time of Scripture reading and prayer, we should end by asking ourselves: How has what I have read and prayed taught me more of God, increased my trust in Him, and encouraged and strengthened my faith?
3.) Learning from the Lives of Others.
Lastly, when we endure these times of hardship, we can often be led to think that no one else has ever endured such a hardship before! We become self-centred and selfish. I felt this way several times and was struck by the “Woe is me!” complex, wallowing in a pool of my own self-pity, of which I am now ashamed. I had been unemployed and without my family for two months, but then I began to consider if this is how I felt after two months, what must it be like for men who suffer this for much longer. What must it be like for those who are off in Afghanistan fighting against the Taliban, away from their loved ones for months and months, never knowing if they shall see them again? What must it be like for those who are unable to find employment and have been poverty stricken for years? By comparison my lot was small, an easy one to bear as my family and I were surrounded by other family members and friends, all supporting and helping us through this time.
Greater than this I thought more of the men who wrote the Psalms, one man in particular, David. He had to run for his life on numerous occasions, hide in caves, travel under the cover of darkness, pretend to be insane in front of a foreign king, live in exile, suffer betrayal, and watch his son lead the nation in a coup against him. As I thought of David, my mind went to Joseph, sold in to slavery, falsely accused of adultery and forgotten in a dungeon; he did not see his family for decades! What about the prophets, the mockery and scorn they endured, never mind the works they were commanded to do by God, think of Ezekiel having to cook his food over cow dung, tying himself to his bed, or having to walk around in public half dressed. What about the New Testament Apostles, and the constant trials, difficulties and persecutions they suffered? Yet God delivered and undertook for them all.
All these came flooding into my mind and I found myself quickly humbled, for by contrast my burden was light, and I was surrounded by family and friends who were diligently praying for us, encouraging us and even financially helping us.
When we become so introspective and consumed by our situation, we loose perspective, we become unrealistic, pessimistic and generally miserable. To stop this downward spiral it is helpful to remember those who have gone before us, who have borne greater burdens, and to then specifically look as to how God's grace was evident in their lives and situations, how He was at work crafting their deliverance, long before they knew of its coming. This truly is one of the many joys and benefits of Scripture, learning from the lives of others, and being reminded of the ever-faithfulness and sovereignty of God. When we do this it helps to regain perspective, to realise that as God has so faithfully undertaken in the past, so He shall continue to be faithful to us.
Patience in the midst of trials and desperate situations is difficult; there can be no denying this, we therefore need to guard against a false patience, which is actually nothing less than impatience. To do this it will take effort and discipline on our part, to be diligent in cultivating and maintaining thankfulness, developing a structured time of prayer, correctly meditating and contemplating upon Scripture, whilst considering the example of others in the faith who have gone before us.
May God in His grace enable us to truly “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him” Psalm 37:7.
