Exodus 20:12, “Honour your father and
your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is
giving you.”
On first reading it may seem rather strange that such a commandment
should not only appear as one of the Ten Commandments, and that is should also
be stated before commandments such as do not murder, or do not commit adultery.
The fifth commandment may appear strange, and outdated in the opinion of some,
but it is of central importance to our relationship with God, our relationship
within the home and it is for our national good.
Why did God give this commandment?
We shall look at three reasons.
The first reason as to why God gives this command, and why we should
regard it as important, is because it is a part of the created order. When God
created Adam and Eve, He gave them charge of the earth, they were to be the
custodians of creation. Furthermore God gave the specific role of headship to
Adam. Adam was to be the head and leader of his family, he should lead them to
God, lead them to obedience and lead them in gracious, humble love. Eve was
given the specific role of being a help-meet to Adam, she was to support him as
the head of the home and help him in his role, under his gracious direction.
Such roles would require Adam to lead and instruct his children in the way they
should go and would require Eve to uphold, support and further enforce Adam’s
leading and instruction. Together as husband and wife, they would lead their
family in the manner that God required of them. The role of the children would
be to honour and respect their parents by follow the instruction, guidance and
authority of their parents, remembering that their parents were discharging
their God-given responsibilities and were doing so under the authority and
direction of God. Where this took place it would bring harmony and unity to the
family and glory to God. The blessings would be immense, family relationships
that were characterised by submission, obedience, godliness, grace and peace,
which would in turn lead to joy.
This commandment is of importance because it leads to both a healthy
family life and a healthy national life. There can be no denying that the
family is the building block of society and of a nation. Healthy families will
lead to a healthier society and a stronger nation, but the opposite is also
true, weak, ungodly families will lead to a break-down in society and the
nation. At the time of the giving of the Ten Commandments, Israel was a nation
in the making. They finally have their freedom, Moses is in the process of
receiving the Law and the manner in which they are to worship God, and in the
time to come they will come to the Promised Land. The family unit will form a
vital part of how the nation of Israel is built and will also determine its
future. If the parents follow their God-given roles and responsibilities
obediently, with grace and love, then they will lead their families well, they
will lead their children to God. The challenge for the children is to submit to
their parents, knowing that it is for their personal good, the good of their
family and the good of their nation, as the second half of this commandment
makes clear: “that your days may be long
in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”
This commandment is a commandment of love and life. God has given it
to us so that our family life and national life might be enriched. Children
should be encourage not to see obedience and submission to their parents as
burdensome, restrictive or negative. This is a part of God’s created order and
when parents are discharging their roles and responsibilities in a
God-honouring, loving and gracious manner, and the children are following in
willing obedience, it leads to the increase of love for one another and for
God. It will also lead to greater joy within the family, for it will not be a
family filled with selfishness and pride, which will only lead to conflict,
rather it will be a family filled with love, submission to one another and to
collective obedience to God. It will lead to a deeper, richer and more joyful
life and increase our love for God and for each other. This is a commandment of
love and life.
Our Father we thank You for the created
purposes that You have set in place in Your infinite wisdom. Forgive us for so
often questioning them, or rebelling against them, for Your Word teaches us
that in Your wisdom, in Your ways, in Your Word, we will find life. Grant us
wisdom as parents to carry out our responsibilities to the glory of Your name,
may we lead our children in love, humility and grace, always pointing them to
You. We pray that our children may understand the importance, benefit and joy
of obedience and thus we pray that our families may grow in joy, love, unity
and godliness, all for Your glory. Amen.